Not Everyone is for You

and You are not for Everyone…

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The biggest lesson that I have learned throughout my lifetime is just as the title says: not everyone is for you, and you, are not going to be for everyone. Gone are the days of simply being children on the playground asking someone if they want to play. I was never that child. I was shy (still am to some degree), I had my friends and I stuck with them. As I got older, though, and when I met someone new, if things didn’t go so well, I would often ask myself: “why don’t they want to be my friend?” or, “why don’t they like me?”. The anxiety of it all would get to the point where I would find myself upset and angry, so much so that I would be in tears over it. It has only been within the past few years that I have gotten to a point where the title of this essay starts to make sense. 

There is also something to be said about when a friendship doesn’t work anymore or turns toxic. Five years ago, I ended a five+ year friendship with a girl from my dance studio because it went from ghillies (Irish dance style of dance shoe) and laughter to toxicity in a heartbeat. I was always walking on eggshells around her, and I just found myself constantly anxious. Fast forward to now, I know that the decision I made was the right choice, even if I do still miss her. Even more recently, a friendship I had with a girl from my undergrad began to fade once I moved away for grad school. Of course, it hurts when you have to let people go who you’ve been friends with for so many years. It’s never easy. But it also helps you grow too, because in life, you’re going to be put with people and in situations with people where you will have a good connection for days, months or even years, but then the Universe, or God (whomever you believe in) will come, a feeling will emerge where the energy is just off and you will then be forced to let go of the situation and move on. 

I’ve found personally, as hard as it is, that learning how to deal with people is more beneficial as we get older. There have been people I have met in my life to which I have gotten along great with, on the other hand, there have also been people I have met in my life to whom I did not like, nor did they like me. I cannot give you an explanation because I had no explanation. Nor do I think that this warrants one.  There are times in life where you meet people and you do not vibe, which is perfectly okay. Because at the end of the day, you are going to find your tribe and learn who you do get along with. So, don’t let one measly moment in time render you to the point of you being frozen forever. Remember, you will find your tribe, and once you do, you will be so, as Jane Austen says, “incredibly, and incandescently happy.” 

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